Do I need to tell extended family? What if they don’t understand?
This question comes up a lot — and the answer isn’t always simple.
You’re not legally required to tell extended family about your child’s ADHD diagnosis. But emotionally, relationally, practically — it gets more complex. Families are systems. And often, the dynamics change when one person begins to be understood through a new lens.
Start by asking yourself why you’re considering telling them.
- Is it to help them interact more respectfully with your child?
- Is it to explain something that’s already been misunderstood?
- Is it because you feel pressure to justify yourself?
- Or are you hoping they’ll step up and support you more?
Your answer matters. And it may shape the way you approach the conversation — or whether you have it at all.
If you do decide to share:
- Keep it simple and calm.
- Focus on how this helps your child, not on defending the label.
- Remind them that ADHD is common, often misunderstood, and not a parenting failure.
They don’t need to become experts. They just need to be willing to accept what helps.
If you don’t feel ready to tell them — that’s valid too. You don’t owe anyone your child’s private health information. And if certain family members are likely to be critical, dismissive, or gossip-driven, it’s okay to set boundaries. You can use general language like:
“We’re working with professionals to better understand how to support [child’s name] and help them thrive. We’d appreciate your support and patience.”
Eventually, you might choose to share more. Or not. The right time is when you feel confident doing so — not when others demand it.
