Pencil-style sketch of a woman with glasses and shoulder-length hair, wearing a T-shirt that says “Rewriting Normal,” standing calmly with an orange sticky note reading “Create movement habit” on her chest, centered on a light beige background.
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Sticky Notes, Not Sticky People

The Shame Loop We Know Too Well (ADHD & Habit Building)

When my friend said, “I’m not really one to stick to things,” I knew what she meant. I’ve said it too. That soft, shame-tinted shrug we do, the one where we pre-disclaim our enthusiasm because we’ve been here before. Started. Tried. Derailed. Pivoted. Moved on.

Trying Isn’t Failing, It’s Responding

But here’s the thing: trying something and not sticking to it doesn’t mean you’re unreliable; it means you’re responsive. Especially if you’re neurodivergent. Especially when so much advice is built for brains that don’t work like ours.

Gamified self-care apps, like the one she’s using now, can work – not because they “fix” you, but because they offer a dose of dopamine, clarity, and small wins. Even just for a week. And sometimes, that’s enough to remind you you’re not broken, you’re just in a world not built with your wiring in mind.

ADHD and Habit Building: Why Scaffolding Matters

The fact is, starting a habit without scaffolding is like trying to hang wallpaper with no ladder and no glue.

Want to read more about scaffolding? Sharon Dale wrote a thoughtful piece about it here

Even with scaffolding, ADHDers often need more novelty, more reminders, more space for restarts. That’s not a moral flaw. That’s just math. Executive function math. Dopamine math. It’s not shameful to know what helps you. And it’s not failure when something stops helping and you pivot to something else.

Movement Isn’t What It Used to Be

Honestly? I know I should exercise more. But I also know that our society recreationalised movement. We used to move as part of survival. Now, we’re expected to perform it. Our bodies, once wired for motion as necessity, are now scheduled into artificial chunks: gym, steps, workouts. And then we rank each other based on consistency, instead of compassion.

What You Stick to Still Counts

So no, sticking to things isn’t the only success metric.

You stick to love, you stick to your values. You stuck to your cat when others might not have had the energy. That’s the kind of sticking that matters.

Feeling stuck or unsure if it’s burnout or just a dip? You might like this post:
Is It Burnout or ADHD Paralysis?

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