Support for Parents & Caregivers Raising ADHD Kids

💛 Welcome

If you’re raising a child with ADHD, you’re in the right place.
This part of the site is for parents, caregivers, and whānau supporting children whose brains work differently.

You’ll find:

  • Honest blog posts
  • Free and paid downloadable tools
  • A self-paced course (coming soon, designed to be affordable and flexible)

I’m not a therapist, and this isn’t a complete parenting program.
But I’m building tools, stories, and support based on what I’ve lived, what I’ve learned, and what I wish we’d had.

If there’s something you’re looking for, something missing, or something you wish someone would explain in plain English—get in touch. I’m listening.

Let’s Set Expectations

If you’re looking for a space that talks about ADHD as a superpower, this might not be that.
That language works for some people, and that’s okay. But it’s never quite landed with me. If I’m honest, it’s made me eye-roll more than a few times.

If you’re here to make your child more compliant, or to “fix” them so they can act more neurotypical, this probably isn’t the site for you either.

It’s totally human to want that in moments of stress, especially if you were raised to prioritise behaviour over connection. But our job isn’t to be perfect. It’s to co-regulate, reflect, and try again. And again. And again.

Venting is valid. This is hard.
Parenting a neurodivergent child while managing your own nervous system, your past conditioning, and your current responsibilities? That’s bloody hard.

But it can’t all be venting. That’s where burnout and resentment build.
The real shift comes from understanding, your child’s brain, and your own. Whether or not you have ADHD, that awareness can give you a better life than never knowing.

This space is here to help with that process:

  • Co-regulation over control
  • Confidence over compliance
  • Reflection over shame
  • Progress over perfection

If that sounds like a direction you want to move in, welcome. You’re in the right place.

10 Gentle Steps for Parenting ADHD Kids

TThese 10 steps aren’t just a list. They’re here because most families are handed a diagnosis (or a hunch) and then… nothing. No map. No next steps.

This guide is designed to fill that gap.

It won’t tell you how to “fix” your child — because your child isn’t broken. It won’t offer a rigid parenting method either. Instead, these steps offer something many of us never got:

  • A moment to reflect
  • A way to notice what’s happening
  • And permission to grow alongside your child, not just for them

Most parenting guides jump straight into behaviour management.
This approach says: Wait — feel it first. Understand your own story. Learn with intention.

That pause can slow (and sometimes prevent) the spirals.
It creates capacity for learning and for real, sustainable change.

It’s trauma-informed and neuro-affirming — which makes it safer and more sustainable for you and your child.

These steps won’t be right for everyone — and that’s okay. But if you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just need something to hold onto while you find your feet, they’re here for that.

You might cry. You might feel sad, worried, guilty, angry, relieved, validated, confused — all of it. Let yourself sit with what this means, without rushing to ‘fix’ it. Your child is still the same child. All that’s changed is your awareness. That awareness can feel big. Some people need to stay in this step for a while. That’s okay.

👉 Coming soon: Try the free reflection sheet: “What Just Happened?” — a grounding tool to help process the emotional impact.

ADHD is highly genetic. It’s very likely you or your child’s other parent is also ADHD. Possibly both. Maybe neither of you were diagnosed. Maybe you were parented as though you were neurotypical, and now you’re trying to raise your inner child while also raising your actual one. That’s exhausting. Reflection here isn’t about blame. It’s about compassion. Patterns matter. Noticing them helps you grow.

👉 Coming soon: Use the Self-Traits Map for Parents — a gentle tool to explore traits, upbringing, and how your story intersects with theirs.

There is a lot of ADHD content out there. Some of it’s excellent. Some of it’s outdated, commercialised, or just wrong. Read widely. Compare sources. Learn with intention. And remember: if something doesn’t feel right for your child or your values, you’re allowed to ignore it.

👉 Coming soon: Try the Info Sorting Guide — a plain-English cheat sheet to help you question sources, spot red flags, and build confidence.

There will be a strong impulse to change everything — new charts, new rewards, new rules. But this isn’t about throwing everything out. Look for what already helps. Small changes stick better than full resets. Give your brain and your child’s brain time to adjust. You’re not behind.

👉 Coming soon: Download the “What’s Already Working?” Tracker to help notice and protect what’s already going well.

You’re not trying to catch your child out. You’re gathering insight. When do they thrive? When do things fall apart? What environment helps them regulate? Tracking patterns will help you communicate with teachers, doctors, whānau — and your child. It will help them, too.

👉 Coming soon: Use the ADHD Pattern Tracker — our free printable with daily and weekly pages to uncover what works and why.

Some parenting styles just won’t work for ADHD brains. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re learning a different approach. This isn’t about training a child to mask. It’s about creating an environment where their actual brain can grow and thrive.

👉 Coming soon: Try the “Reframing Scripts” printable — rewritten parenting expectations in ADHD-aware language.

You might grieve. You might rage. You might feel ashamed of your parenting, or feel judged by others. None of that means you’re failing. Your child will have big feelings too. Your job isn’t to prevent them — it’s to stay present and help them feel safe as they learn.

👉 Coming soon: Use the Big Feelings Card or Fridge Sheet — a visual guide to help everyone feel seen and safe in intense moments.

Some people will be shocked you’d even consider medication. Others will wonder why you haven’t started already. The decision is yours, and it deserves time. Whatever you choose, it’s not permanent. Plans evolve. This step is about knowing your options and moving at your pace.

👉 Coming soon: Download the Decision Support Tool — a calm, clear worksheet to help you reflect, compare, and decide with confidence.

You don’t need to aim for ‘normal.’ Success doesn’t mean matching neurotypical kids. It means feeling safe, supported, and seen. What kind of life do you want to build? What matters most to your child, your family, your culture? Use that as your compass.

👉 Coming soon: Try the Family Compass worksheet — a values-led way to shape goals that actually fit.

You might be tired. You might be new to speaking up. But you’re already doing it. Every time you explain your child’s needs to a teacher, or push back on a comment, or make a new choice that fits better — that’s advocacy. It gets easier. And eventually, your child learns to do it too.

👉 New Tool: When Support Means Punishment
School not supporting your child? This guide walks you through your rights, what schools should do, and how to push back, without burning out.
Download the PDF here

Real Questions Parents Ask

Assuming they don’t already know. There’s no perfect age or script, but the general rule is: tell them before someone else does — and do it in a way that makes them feel safe and understood. You can keep it age-appropriate, and it doesn’t have to be a one-off conversation. If they were part of the assessment process, they probably already know something’s up.
👉 Blog post — When should I tell my child they have ADHD?

You don’t need a textbook. Use plain words. Use their own strengths and struggles as examples. You can say, “Your brain is wired differently, and now we know why. It’s not bad — it just means we get to understand you better.”
👉 Read the blog post: How do I explain ADHD to my child?

No — but it often helps. Sharing the diagnosis can open the door to support, accommodations, and understanding. If you’re not ready, you can start by describing needs instead of using labels.
👉 Read the blog Do I Have to Update Their School or Teacher?

👉 New Tool: When Support Means Punishment
School not supporting your child? This guide walks you through your rights, what schools should do, and how to push back, without burning out.

That depends. If they’re part of your child’s life, it can help them understand certain behaviours or needs. But you don’t owe anyone private medical info. If you do share, it’s okay to set boundaries around unhelpful opinions.
👉 Read the blog post – Do I need to tell extended family? What if they don’t understand?

Yes — and no. ADHD isn’t a blood test. It’s based on patterns and impact over time. It’s possible for a diagnosis to miss something, or for a profile to shift. But if the traits and supports fit, it can still be useful — even if it evolves.
👉 Blog post — Could the Diagnosis Be Wrong?

It might be different — but different doesn’t mean worse. There will be challenges, yes. But there will also be strengths, insights, and relationships that are shaped by that difference. The goal isn’t to make life ‘easy’ — it’s to make it understood, supported, and meaningful.
👉 Blog post — What does this mean for my child’s future? Will their life be harder?

Yes, legally it can be — especially when it causes barriers in learning, work, or daily life. But disability doesn’t mean broken. It means the world isn’t always set up with their needs in mind. And that’s where awareness, support, and advocacy come in.

They’ll need support for a while — but that’s true of every child in different ways. The kind of support might change over time. What matters is creating scaffolding now so they can grow their own self-awareness, confidence, and tools.
👉 Blog post: Does this mean they’ll need support forever?

Diagnosis rates are up — because awareness is up. Many adults were missed as kids, and now they’re recognising signs in their children and themselves. We’re not creating more ADHD — we’re finally naming what was always there.
👉 Blog post — Why does everyone seem to have ADHD now? Is this overdiagnosed?

Absolutely. That doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human. This isn’t about denying hard feelings. It’s about making space for them and learning to move forward with intention. You can honour both.
👉 Step 7 and the Big Feelings printable are great starting points.

Giftedness, sensitivity, emotional intensity — all can coexist with ADHD. These overlapping traits don’t cancel each other out. But they can complicate things. Knowing the full picture helps you support your child better.
👉 Blog post — My child is gifted / sensitive / creative — how does that fit with ADHD?

No. You did not cause your child’s ADHD. It’s neurological, often genetic, and not a reflection of your parenting. What you can influence is how supported, seen, and safe your child feels as they grow into their identity.
👉 Blog post: Does ADHD mean my parenting caused this?

Yes. Some people will — but not everyone. And their judgment doesn’t mean anything about your worth, or your child’s.

You might encounter people who still believe myths about ADHD. Some may think it’s a result of poor parenting, or just “bad behaviour.” Others might question your decisions — especially around medication, accommodations, or how you choose to talk about the diagnosis.

Here’s the truth: you don’t owe everyone an explanation. You get to choose who hears your story, and how much they get to know. You also get to change your mind about that, any time.

Judgment usually says more about the other person’s discomfort or ignorance than anything about you or your child.

And yes, it can hurt. Especially if it comes from people you love, or from professionals who are meant to help. That’s why building your own understanding — and finding safe spaces — matters so much. You don’t have to be the spokesperson for ADHD everywhere you go. But having language, tools, and self-trust makes those moments easier to face.

👉 Blog post – Are people going to judge me? Will they judge my child?

That’s okay. You’re not alone.

A lot of people go through the motions of testing and diagnosis before they fully get what ADHD means. And most of us were never taught what it actually is — especially not in adults or in kids who don’t match the hyperactive stereotype.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental difference. That means it’s brain-based, and it affects how a person focuses, processes information, handles emotions, and responds to the world. It’s not a behaviour problem. It’s not caused by screens, sugar, or parenting. And it’s not just being “a bit distracted.”

There are different types, and the traits show up differently in each person. Some kids are talkative and full of energy. Others are dreamy, overwhelmed, or shut down easily. Some switch between the two. It also runs in families — which is why many parents learn about their own brains after their child is diagnosed.

If you’re still unsure — start with kindness, not certainty. There’s a free plain-English guide here if you want to keep learning:

👉 Read the blog: Wait — but I still don’t really understand what ADHD is


Parenting an ADHD child isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about showing up, learning in real-time, and staying connected (even when things feel messy). If you’re looking for support you can actually use, not just more noise — you’re in the right place. Keep reading, keep questioning, keep learning. You can start with the 10 Steps, browse the real FAQs, or check the blog if you feel like hearing from someone who’s learning too.