Do ADHDers Mask? Why the Word Still Matters

Before I knew I had ADHD, I was already doing it.
Rehearsing what to say. Hiding the chaos. Pretending I was fine.
I thought I was just anxious. Or awkward. Or falling short somehow.

It wasn’t until my child was diagnosed—and I started learning more about neurodivergence—that I came across the word: masking.

At first, I wasn’t sure I was allowed to use it.

Where the term comes from

Masking is most often associated with autism. It’s well-researched, particularly in women and marginalised groups who were overlooked or misdiagnosed. In that context, masking often means hiding traits like:

• Avoiding eye contact
• Suppressing stimming or sensory needs
• Rehearsing social scripts
• Adapting tone, gestures, or body language to pass as neurotypical

And for many autistic people, the term is powerful and necessary. It validates a lifetime of burnout, missed diagnosis, and trying to survive in a world that wasn’t designed with them in mind.

So what about ADHD?

There’s less research, but plenty of lived experience.
ADHDers may not always mask the same way, but we mask a lot:

• Pretending to focus when our brain is skipping
• Over-preparing to avoid being “caught out” as forgetful
• Holding back impulsive ideas because they seem “too much”
• Faking emotional regulation we don’t actually feel
• Mirroring others’ productivity styles—even if they burn us out
• Performing calm in meetings, in parenting, in life

We often call it coping. Or people-pleasing. Or professional behaviour.
But sometimes it’s just as much a mask—it’s just built around function, not form.

Why the word still matters

Some people prefer other terms—camouflaging, adapting, code-switching. That’s valid. But for me?
Masking fits.
Because I wasn’t just behaving differently. I was hiding the effort it took to keep up.

And like any long-term mask, it left me burnt out and unsure who I was underneath it.

If you’re wondering how masking actually shows up in daily life, I wrote a personal reflection about what it looked like for me in parenting, work, and social spaces.

A quiet reminder

You don’t need a formal label to validate your lived experience.
You don’t need to ask permission to use a word that helps you understand yourself.

Masking may look different for ADHDers—but the nervous system cost? Still real.

If the term helps you name it, use it.
If another word fits better, use that instead.
This isn’t about claiming or gatekeeping.
It’s about making room for truth—in all its forms.